...about taking risks

it turns out that i have muscles that i didn't know existed. they all hurt. i went to a boxing class on wednesday evening and then played basketball for two days in a row. even though i desperately need a massage therapist, it's all good. you have to love that muscles burning feeling, knowing that you have done something your body needs.

the basketball thing is pretty new. twenty years ago (ouch, that hurt, how old do i feel!) i played basketball on my grade 9 girls team. i'm thinking the team wasn't too hard to make because i am certainly no star. i could hold my own on the court, mostly getting rebounds and then passing the ball to the girls who could consistently get the "swish".

today i played on the staff team against the championship winning boys team. i'm all for teachers going out and making fools of themselves, showing kids that taking risks is something we all do. i ask them to take risks all the time in english class. i make them share their opinions, write poetry even if they think it isn't a strength, i challenge them to try new things. it is harder as we get older to take those risks.

it's a good thing that i don't mind making a fool of myself because the skills i may have had when i was 14 seem to have vanished. i dribbled a few times, made a few passes, missed a few passes and accidentally took the ball from one of my own players. still, my students cheered and chanted for me. our team lost by a few points, but i think there was far more gained in the game than what showed on the scoreboard. i'm hoping the students noticed that i was a good sport. i'm hoping the girls noticed that there is a place for them on the court if they choose. i'm hoping that this spurs me on to take risks in other areas of my life. i'm hoping there is a beginners basketball league on this little island because i had so much fun over the last couple of days.

...about baking

i have bread rising on the counter and applesauce cake in the oven. i make a mean rum cake, pretty good multigrain bread and mouthwatering cinnamon buns.

baking is my form of therapy.

marking and report cards are hanging over my head, i am tired of trying to figure out the people that i work with and even more tired of trying to juggle my role at school as teacher/principal's wife/parent.

so, i bake.

if you follow the directions and do what you are supposed to do, you have delicious success. why can't life be like that.

must go out for a run now so that i can feel a little less guilt at consuming all of the treats later today (witness my two other forms of therapy).

...about being a klutz

i fall. i bruise. it's what i do.

this weekend i went for a run along south shore road. (here in bermuda we have north shore road, middle road and south shore road. creative names, don't you think?)

i was absorbed with the music playing on my ipod, belting out the wicked soundtrack (i know, cool, right!) when all of a sudden i was lying on my back on the road. i tripped over something about as big as a pebble and ended up with a scrape on my hand and a very red face. as we klutzy people do, I took a breath, stood up, dusted myself off and continued on my run just glad that nobody i knew was around to witness my little tumble. in my peripheral vision i could see a car had slowed down to make sure i was alright. i waved them on and tried to avoid eye contact, only to have a face appear out the window saying, "rheanne... are you okay, can we drive you somewhere?"

as luck would have it, two of my colleagues and their children were driving by at the very moment that i was lying on the road. nice. so much for nobody i knew being around.

i assured them that i was fine but they only drove as far as the gas station and proceeded to wait until they saw me run by. they asked me again if i really was okay so i showed them my little battle wound and sent them on their way.

although the first feeling i had was total embarrassment, i must admit it felt nice to have people looking out for me. i've been missing toronto quite a lot lately. it may have something to do with some current colleagues that i could do without and a longing for the friends and colleagues from past schools. it may also have something to do with canada being in the news and on television so much because of vancouver hosting the olympics. my feelings of homesick are at an all-time high. after my experience this weekend, my second feeling was that some people around here do care about my well-being. i am thinking there are a few benefits to living in the small-town life. anonymity is a thing of the past, but it is nice to know that i will be looked after when it comes down to it no matter where i tumble.

for me, it's the little gestures that make the biggest impact.

...about party attire

my darling little one has been invited to a birthday party today.

his little friend is turning four and the theme of her party is "princes and princesses".

he loves a good party. he loves anything that includes cake.

he has been talking about his party all week.

my little boy plans to go dressed as...spiderman.

the joys of having boys.

...about the breakfast of champions

my son gets up early. every single day, without fail he gets up at 6am (or earlier)! some days we let him go downstairs to get his own breakfast and watch cartoons. a little responsibility is a good thing and a few extra minutes of sleep for mommy and daddy is not so bad either.

check out the picture of the breakfast we found him beginning to eat as we came downstairs this morning.

he called is creation, "bagel s'mores".

yummy.

...about what is never far from my mind

i try my best. i eat fruits and vegetables. i never drink soda or coffee or beer. i do enjoy the occasional glass of wine but i wouldn't say i overdo it in that department either. i don't smoke and i am relatively active, especially if running after two little boys counts.

and yet...i am stuck in a bit of a rut. i lost quite a few pounds a couple of years ago through watching my calories and exercise. box-fit and run-walking on the treadmill were my activities of choice. i put a few pounds back on in the stressful months leading up to our bermuda move and then lost them and a few more when i wasn't working and the winter weather on our little island proved the perfect combination for a healthy lifestyle. running beside the ocean and along the trails melted off the pounds. i wowed my friends and family (and, admittedly even impressed myself) when i returned for a visit to Canada in June of last year at a weight that was probably only about 20 pounds away from my goal.

fast-forward to now. I am about 25 pounds away from my goal. i have been about 25 pounds away from my goal for months and months and months. the good news is that i can mostly maintain my weight. i should be happy about this. i am trying to be happy about this. the reality is that i am frustrated that i can't keep my resolve to lose that last 20 pounds. i cannot seem to balance looking after my family, teaching full-time, while still continuing to work away at my weight loss goal. every week i say, i am going to stick to it. will this be the week that i actually do?

i hope it will be. i want it to be. i need it to be.