I am here...although I don't know if I have arrived. Some days I feel stranded in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, other days I marvel at the paradise that I call my life. Welcome to my ramblings, reflections, and obsessive- compulsive tendencies

Saturday, January 30, 2010

...about what is never far from my mind

i try my best. i eat fruits and vegetables. i never drink soda or coffee or beer. i do enjoy the occasional glass of wine but i wouldn't say i overdo it in that department either. i don't smoke and i am relatively active, especially if running after two little boys counts.

and yet...i am stuck in a bit of a rut. i lost quite a few pounds a couple of years ago through watching my calories and exercise. box-fit and run-walking on the treadmill were my activities of choice. i put a few pounds back on in the stressful months leading up to our bermuda move and then lost them and a few more when i wasn't working and the winter weather on our little island proved the perfect combination for a healthy lifestyle. running beside the ocean and along the trails melted off the pounds. i wowed my friends and family (and, admittedly even impressed myself) when i returned for a visit to Canada in June of last year at a weight that was probably only about 20 pounds away from my goal.

fast-forward to now. I am about 25 pounds away from my goal. i have been about 25 pounds away from my goal for months and months and months. the good news is that i can mostly maintain my weight. i should be happy about this. i am trying to be happy about this. the reality is that i am frustrated that i can't keep my resolve to lose that last 20 pounds. i cannot seem to balance looking after my family, teaching full-time, while still continuing to work away at my weight loss goal. every week i say, i am going to stick to it. will this be the week that i actually do?

i hope it will be. i want it to be. i need it to be.

2 comments:

ModernMom said...

OH so hard to stick to the goals we set for ourselves. I hate when I vow to treat my body with more repect. Tighten up those abs a little bit, but then spend the afternoon on the couch wrapped in a blanket eating popcorn intead of using my awesome treadmill!
LOL There is always tomorrow!

Loukia said...

I am JUST like you. 20 pounds, 20 pounds, 20 pounds. On one hand, it sounds like a lot, but on the other hand, it's not so much, when you think about it... I can lose weight pretty quickly, but I can also put it on really quickly, too. I struggle with this... and have for years! I did Atkins again before our recent Florida vacation and when we got back, I started eating carbs again, and of course, packed on a few pounds again. It's a never ending cycle! Good luck to you...