...about three years in my life

dearest baby boy,

today you turn three. three years full of love, laughter, tears, worry, joy and amazment. it has been a most amazing three years in my life. when i look at your sweet face today, i see those same big, beatiful eyes looking up at me as i saw on the first day that i was so blessed to meet you. those eyes that dance and sparkle, that draw everyone in, that hold laughter and mishchief, that look with adoration on your older brother, that overflow with love.

i have returned to those first few days that you and i spent in the hospital together many, many times. you were the most calm baby. on a ward that had three sets of twins wailing their way through the first week of their lives, you gazed around at your new world hardly making a peep. your full head of elvis-like hair, your enourmous eyes and your gentle nature had all of your nurses swooning from day one. because daddy was spending time back and forth from the hospital taking care of your big brother, i got to spend hours alone with you, snuggling with you, so thrilled that you had made your way into my life. i loved those moments, and i've agonized over those moments, too. why didn't i see what was to come? why wasn't i listening more closely as you were tucked in against me?

i also return in my mind to those days six weeks later in another hospital when i watched with a team of doctors and nurses marvel a little baby whose heart skyrocketed then stopped then, after days on a bypass machine and a cocktail of various medicines, began to make a recovery that we were warned was unlikely. you are a determined child, darling boy. i have known that from the first year of your life. you were so determined to make your mark on this world that you defied odds. i am so glad that you did.

it has been a thrill for me to see you continue to have people marvel at the boy that you have become. your face has the most expressions i have ever seen. you have a gorgeous smile that we get to see all the time and laughter that sounds better than any music i have ever heard. we never have to wonder what you are thinking because of your continuous commentary. you never miss anything, not a comment, or a joke, or the opportunity to go on an adventure. order is your middle name. the blocks, the cars and the animals all have a place, and you like to know where everyone is at all times, what seat they will be sitting in and what car they will be driving. you are drawn to every ball that comes across your path. already you can dribble a soccer ball, hit a tennis ball, a golf ball, and a baseball better than most of the members of your immediate family. you are a rough and tumble, tough kind of kid. if you fall, you brush yourself off and continue on your way. you hold your own with a brother that is twice your size, though you are pretty lucky that he is so patient considering all of the jumping and bouncing, pushing and pulling he endures for your entertainment. he loves you with all of his heart. we all do. you are an incredible boy.

i love you. have a very happy birthday.

love mommy